A Birth Family Shares What's Important in an Adoption Profile Book

We were so excited to come across this article written by one of our adoptive client families. We created an adoption profile book for Jessica and Warren back in 2014, and since then they’ve successfully grown their family through adoption. We’re beyond thrilled for them and honored to share their story here.

This article, written by Jessica Butler for Raise Magazine, offers a rare and valuable perspective—an interview with her son’s birth grandmother, who played a central role in choosing Jessica and Warren as adoptive parents. We’ll be featuring more of Jessica’s work in the future, but for now we encourage you to visit Raise Magazine for even more articles on adoption and parenting.

What struck us most about this piece is how much it underscores the importance of authenticity in adoption profile books. The details—whether it’s a photo of kids having fun, a quirky mention of Steve Martin, or the warmth of a family tradition—matter more than polished perfection. Just as every adoptive family is unique, every expectant parent is unique too. That’s why the most important thing you can do is be yourselves and allow that authenticity to shine through.

Here are some highlights from How to Write an Adoption Profile: According to a Birth Family by Jessica Butler.

“Levon’s birth grandmother was instrumental in picking his adoptive family and graciously allowed me to interview her about the process.”

Prior to looking at any profiles, did you have an idea of what you wanted the adoptive family to be like?

“I wanted a normal, traditional home, a family that looked like us, had no children, and had been trying, one way or another, to have a baby.

Nothing was in concrete, but I had to find a way to separate three or four or five hundred profiles, and that was my way. Until I came to your picture. And everything changed.

I was so drawn to you. It compelled me to open your profile, and the first picture I saw was of your stepson Jackson playing guitar in his band. That said a lot about how much you love music and how important it is in your life. That you encouraged him to go to college and major in music told me so much about how you raise your children, respect your children, encourage your children, and it just took away that whole rule that I had about no kids.”

What immediately made you put a profile into the NO pile?

“Anyone who didn’t look like us.

Anyone who lived outside Arizona, New Mexico, California, or Utah.

There were some – two or three – that were extremists; religion was their life.

There were people who farmed their own food and only ate vegan or gluten free, and I know that they were looking to appeal to my healthy side, but I wanted this child to grow up having hamburgers and French fries and really enjoying food.

Cat people. Cat people were put in the NO pile.”

Were you more affected by the photos in the profiles or by the text?

“I’d say they were of equal importance, but the photos were what compelled me to read the text.

The photo on the front was of prime importance. After I narrowed down the profiles, I went through them and looked at all the pictures and captions to see what kind of life the people had. What were they showing me that they felt was important?

Your picture of the boys gathering Easter eggs in the lake, I just thought, ‘Well this family has fun.’ That picture was very important. But as you know, what sealed the deal is what you wrote.”

From Jessica & Warren’s profile:

“Warren got his first gray hair at 16, and was completely gray by 35. His hero growing up was Steve Martin, which may explain the gray hair.”

“That one sentence about Steve Martin. It was like you chose us. Because every single thing about you was exactly what we hoped for.”